The Hillcrest Cyclone Has Jumped the Shark

The recent handover of control of the controversial, bestselling blog the Hillcrest Cyclone from two outgoing seniors to two rising sophomores has caused a flurry of outrage, as blog readers across the world are worried that there could be a dip in Cyclone quality.

"Dip in quality is putting it lightly," said Cyclone ombudsman Drew Vine. "The Cyclone has jumped the shark."



Whether the Cyclone has "jumped the shark" so to speak is a matter of controversy befitting to Hillcrest's edgiest blog. First, historical precedents are helpful to know when judging whether the HC has "jumped the shark."

"There are always changes in shows, books, blogs, etc," said media critic and Hillcrest graduate Ben Gallant. "For instance, Emma totally killed Friends, just like ER never really recovered after Clooney and Edwards left. On the other hand, House appeared to jump the shark with the season four auditions, but ironically enough, the show was rejuvenated by the return of one of the auditioning doctors - Amber - late in the season, and it's been strong ever since. Hey, while I've got you, do you want to hang out later? I'm bored."

The critics have split up in two camps: the pessimists and the optimists, the former opposing the new Cyclone regime and the latter supporting it.

"The new writers just plain suck," said an anonymous critic named "Disappointed," who was too cowardly to use his/her actual name decided to remain anonymous to preserve objectivity. "As a freshman, I was 5.6% funnier than them. You guys should hire me. Wait, no you shouldn't, because I would pee my pants if I ever actually put myself out there to criticism in an effort to have some fun and amuse others."

Those words weren't even the harshest criticism for the new Cyclone editors.

"As an objective outside observer, I can plainly state that Will Look sucks and is a disgrace to the Look family," said Hillcrest alum Rob Look (no relation).

While many of the pessimists are turning tail and fleeing, the optimists are hopeful that the Cyclone will prevail.

"Let's face it, there's some good ideas in there," said media critic and outgoing senior Mattia Flabiano. "James King doing taekwondo during a frisbee game? Funny because it's true! Emily Westbrook speaking in a 'lively' tone? HILARIOUS! It's just the execution. They just need some innings under their belts. And who knows, change may be a good thing - they may even include some nonwhite people in their stories! Hillcrest is only, what, 85% minority?"

Also, others note, the actual quality dropoff has been exaggerated.

"The grammar has been a big issue, but let's face the facts," said future English teacher Jenny Davenport. "Erik doesn't know a run-on sentence from a fragment. They're really not losing much there."

While it's clear the controversy over the changing of the guard will last for a long while, the Cyclone shows no signs of packing up shop and failing to report on the hottest issues at HHS, from poo spills to mace fights to the Cyclone itself. Cyclone co-founder/demigod Erik Severson had some wise words for all of the doubters.

"Look, dude, you're losing a lot with me and Jeff leaving. We're two genui (that's the plural form of 'genius' - I invented it) that haven't graced the halls of Hillcrest since Harriet Miers went here. The new guys are going to have their scratches and bruises, but they're going to be better and funnier people because of it. The Cyclone is more than a funny blog... it's an ideal we can all aspire to, and I was always taught that those ideals survive for eternity, that they keep us going when the going gets tough. And also, Jeff and I have commissioned statues of ourselves to be placed in the front hall, so if you ever miss us you can go check those out and leave roses at our feet. Cool beans, huh?"

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Full disclosure: early feedback from test audiences indicated that this article was "disappointing" and "stoopid."