Saturday, May 9, 2009
It's Friday Night/Saturday Morning
Truly an all time favorite. Hope Friday nights went well, and I hope they are possibly not over yet. In the case that they are, let Saturday treat you well.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Friday the 8th Live Blog
Today I brought my handy-dandy laptop to school. A run-down of life as a senior.
8:42- I arrive to school. I walk in the doors, and proceed to the metal detector. The “security guard” asks my friend whether she has pepper spray in her bag.
8:50- I stroll into AP English Literature with the hit-list writing Dr. McGaffey. I simply ask her what we are doing today, and she responds: Nothing. My heart flutters. Less than half of the class is here.
8:59- The internets at our school are not working. The fluttering ceases. I begin to watch Step Brothers.
9:37- Absolutely doing nothing. Why are we here.
9:45- First period ends to my delight.
9:50- Second period AP Statistics begins. 7 people are here. Seriously?
10:13- All of statistics has been spent playing Catchphrase. Boys vs. girls, the boys shall conquer all.
10:31- How the hell are we supposed to get antihistamine?
10:40- Second period ends.
10:45- Teacher is absent!
10:58- Mmmm Potbelly…
11:46- Back to school to see the man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Baldridge. Once again more than half of the class has failed to show up. Baldridge tells us how much he hates us, and is trying to beat us up.
11:46- He didn’t say or do any of those things, I was kidding.
12:05- I have begun to iChat with Mr. Baldridge, as he sits 10 feet away. Class population= 6.
12:56- The creation of the Hillcrest Cyclone advertisement is almost complete. And that’s how I spent all of 4th period.
1:09- “I want to be the kind of grandpa where I am just kind of like a crazy old man. I want to be the guy who jumps off of the yacht into the water and says, ‘Come on in guys! The water just got a little warmer!’” -Mr. Baldridge
1:15- 4th period ends.
1:20- Newspaper begins. Coincidentally, so does nap time.
1:58- Counting the minutes until school ends. Having a little fun on Urban Dictionary. Notable words: duck butt, Lizzie McGuire, a few others as well
2:10- 5th ends, off to Calculus
2:13- Mrs. Lucy says she does not want to see us after we have taken our AP exam, so I follow her directions.
2:22- Home. Educational day is over.
2:44- Gotten a few good games of FIFA 09 in, and it’s time to head back to school for a little baseball. TGIMFF
2:50- Back to the Crest. What a Friday. Everyone have a magnificent weekend.
8:42- I arrive to school. I walk in the doors, and proceed to the metal detector. The “security guard” asks my friend whether she has pepper spray in her bag.
8:50- I stroll into AP English Literature with the hit-list writing Dr. McGaffey. I simply ask her what we are doing today, and she responds: Nothing. My heart flutters. Less than half of the class is here.
8:59- The internets at our school are not working. The fluttering ceases. I begin to watch Step Brothers.
9:37- Absolutely doing nothing. Why are we here.
9:45- First period ends to my delight.
9:50- Second period AP Statistics begins. 7 people are here. Seriously?
10:13- All of statistics has been spent playing Catchphrase. Boys vs. girls, the boys shall conquer all.
10:31- How the hell are we supposed to get antihistamine?
10:40- Second period ends.
10:45- Teacher is absent!
10:58- Mmmm Potbelly…
11:46- Back to school to see the man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Baldridge. Once again more than half of the class has failed to show up. Baldridge tells us how much he hates us, and is trying to beat us up.
11:46- He didn’t say or do any of those things, I was kidding.
12:05- I have begun to iChat with Mr. Baldridge, as he sits 10 feet away. Class population= 6.
12:56- The creation of the Hillcrest Cyclone advertisement is almost complete. And that’s how I spent all of 4th period.
1:09- “I want to be the kind of grandpa where I am just kind of like a crazy old man. I want to be the guy who jumps off of the yacht into the water and says, ‘Come on in guys! The water just got a little warmer!’” -Mr. Baldridge
1:15- 4th period ends.
1:20- Newspaper begins. Coincidentally, so does nap time.
1:58- Counting the minutes until school ends. Having a little fun on Urban Dictionary. Notable words: duck butt, Lizzie McGuire, a few others as well
2:10- 5th ends, off to Calculus
2:13- Mrs. Lucy says she does not want to see us after we have taken our AP exam, so I follow her directions.
2:22- Home. Educational day is over.
2:44- Gotten a few good games of FIFA 09 in, and it’s time to head back to school for a little baseball. TGIMFF
2:50- Back to the Crest. What a Friday. Everyone have a magnificent weekend.
Uh Oh, We Talked About the Fight Club
Back in the day, Hillcrest used to be pretty tame. Sure, there was the occasional evacuation of the school due to multiple fights/riots/rap battles and the ensuing release of mace into the school's ventilation system, but what school doesn't have those occasional slip-ups? It's not like we were South Oak Cliff cage fighters.
But at Hillcrest we're all about constant progress, and occasionally linear regression into Neanderthal-like beings.
Confused? Lie down with an ice cold glass of tea (two sugars, none of that Splenda crap) and let the Cyclone educate you.
AP testing is tough. At the Cyclone we fully understand that. But while your honorable Cyclone narrators may engage in a Pokemon battle or write silly fake news articles toavoid studying blow off steam, other HHS kids have a new tactic: fighting.
According to occasionally reliable sources, there have been, like, 12 or 13 fights this week. And a stabbing.
Suck it, SOC!!!!!
"It's easily explained," said senior Jonathan Wilson. "As president of the Hillcrest Fight Club, we try to encourage positive reinforcement and a good way to vent frustration through our coordinated fights. Obviously, some of our members have taken that a bit too far, which is regrettable. Although I would like to mention that Fight Club members are 7-0-1 against non-FC members, with 4 KOs."
Other students have verified the Fight Club's record.
"I saw one fight where the FC dude just beat the crap out of this lame-o sophomore," said freshman Jesse Degani by phone from his seat in Mr. Baldridge's Environmental Science class. "The sophomore got some good licks in and the judges gave the FC fighter a split decision, but it should've been unanimous. His right jab was phenomenal."
The administration was less enthused about the recent fights.
"I just would like to encourage students not to beat each other silly," said Headmaster Shelton. (Future Headmaster Jones could not be reached at press time.) "And if you do have to beat each other silly, use those silly Roc'Em Soc'Em gloves. Not knives. I would really like to discourage knife usage. And no katanas, either, for anyone who saw Wolverine last Friday."
The fighting spirit has really taken root in the HHS population, though. A record 20 wizard duels are scheduled for tomorrow afternoon on the practice football field.
"My father has taught me some great spells," boasted valedictorian Michael Hinojosa. "I'd say my magic's just about on Dr. McGaffey's level by now."
(Full disclosure: Cyclone writer Jeff Wilke, aka Voldemort, will not be taking part in the dueling tomorrow, as he has tested positive for a banned substance known as HRX [commonly referred to as "horcruxes"].)
This is a developing story, and we will keep you updated. (Tips are appreciated. Email us or just comment.)
The Cyclone would like to remind students that fighting is against HHS policy, and that students could get seriously hurt, or worse - expelled.
But at Hillcrest we're all about constant progress, and occasionally linear regression into Neanderthal-like beings.
Confused? Lie down with an ice cold glass of tea (two sugars, none of that Splenda crap) and let the Cyclone educate you.
AP testing is tough. At the Cyclone we fully understand that. But while your honorable Cyclone narrators may engage in a Pokemon battle or write silly fake news articles to
According to occasionally reliable sources, there have been, like, 12 or 13 fights this week. And a stabbing.
Suck it, SOC!!!!!
"It's easily explained," said senior Jonathan Wilson. "As president of the Hillcrest Fight Club, we try to encourage positive reinforcement and a good way to vent frustration through our coordinated fights. Obviously, some of our members have taken that a bit too far, which is regrettable. Although I would like to mention that Fight Club members are 7-0-1 against non-FC members, with 4 KOs."
Other students have verified the Fight Club's record.
"I saw one fight where the FC dude just beat the crap out of this lame-o sophomore," said freshman Jesse Degani by phone from his seat in Mr. Baldridge's Environmental Science class. "The sophomore got some good licks in and the judges gave the FC fighter a split decision, but it should've been unanimous. His right jab was phenomenal."
The administration was less enthused about the recent fights.
"I just would like to encourage students not to beat each other silly," said Headmaster Shelton. (Future Headmaster Jones could not be reached at press time.) "And if you do have to beat each other silly, use those silly Roc'Em Soc'Em gloves. Not knives. I would really like to discourage knife usage. And no katanas, either, for anyone who saw Wolverine last Friday."
The fighting spirit has really taken root in the HHS population, though. A record 20 wizard duels are scheduled for tomorrow afternoon on the practice football field.
"My father has taught me some great spells," boasted valedictorian Michael Hinojosa. "I'd say my magic's just about on Dr. McGaffey's level by now."
(Full disclosure: Cyclone writer Jeff Wilke, aka Voldemort, will not be taking part in the dueling tomorrow, as he has tested positive for a banned substance known as HRX [commonly referred to as "horcruxes"].)
This is a developing story, and we will keep you updated. (Tips are appreciated. Email us or just comment.)
The Cyclone would like to remind students that fighting is against HHS policy, and that students could get seriously hurt, or worse - expelled.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
UPDATE: Hillcrest Cyclone FUN-raiser
WE HAVE DONE IT!!!!! $90 has been raised through charitable donation, and you shall see a Hillcrest Cyclone advertisement in the final issue of the 2009 Hillcrest Hurricane.
Hillcrest Baseball Is Quite Fertile
In the wake of Major League Baseball's breaking news earlier today regarding Manny Ramirez, members of Hillcrest baseball have stepped forward and admitted their drug usage.
The drug being taken into account in both situations is hCG, or commonly known as human chorionic gonadotropin. hCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production.
"Yeah, I took hCG," said sophomore Spencer Klein. "SO WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE I DID STEROIDS OR ANYTHING!" Klein said as he threw a chair against the wall of the baseball locker room.
Klein is not the only Hillcrest Panther to admit usage of the drug. Junior Phillip Sartain has had his run-ins with hCG as well.
"Did I do hCG? Yes," Sartain said. "But I didn't use it for any steroid-related purposes at all."
I was befuddled, but the rest of the Hillcrest Panther baseball team denied further comment on the issue, although this might explain Paul Seitz's unnaturally cherub-like looks.
Lesson learned. Male athletes should probably stay away from women's fertility medicine. No suspensions have been handed down by the school or district as of yet.
Sorry for the lack of postage yesterday, Jeff W and I have recently finished a run of 4 AP tests in 4 days. Wait what's that smell? Oh, it's an FML.
The drug being taken into account in both situations is hCG, or commonly known as human chorionic gonadotropin. hCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production.
"Yeah, I took hCG," said sophomore Spencer Klein. "SO WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE I DID STEROIDS OR ANYTHING!" Klein said as he threw a chair against the wall of the baseball locker room.
Klein is not the only Hillcrest Panther to admit usage of the drug. Junior Phillip Sartain has had his run-ins with hCG as well.
"Did I do hCG? Yes," Sartain said. "But I didn't use it for any steroid-related purposes at all."
I was befuddled, but the rest of the Hillcrest Panther baseball team denied further comment on the issue, although this might explain Paul Seitz's unnaturally cherub-like looks.
Lesson learned. Male athletes should probably stay away from women's fertility medicine. No suspensions have been handed down by the school or district as of yet.
Sorry for the lack of postage yesterday, Jeff W and I have recently finished a run of 4 AP tests in 4 days. Wait what's that smell? Oh, it's an FML.
Quote of the Day
"You know, I don't think I'm going to do this today."
-Senior Ben Debus after being handed the essay portion of the AP English Literature exam.
-Senior Ben Debus after being handed the essay portion of the AP English Literature exam.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Hillcrest Cyclone is One Month Old
Thank you for your continued support of The Cyclone.
Monday, May 4, 2009
HHS Holds First-Ever Good, Christian Prom
Hillcrest High School Promenade: '09 Edition was many things. Classy. Pimp-tight. Surprisingly clean for a warehouse. Awfully crazy, I wish I'd taped it.
Add "moral" to that list.
"I just am so pleased to announce that for the first time in the history of high school proms, a high school - Hillcrest itself! - has held a prom night during which no one got wasted!" enthused Hillcrest Youth Moral Superiority chairman Andrew Asay in a recent statement. (Here Asay giggles.) "And no one got laid!"
Unfortunately for the male population, at least one of those charges might hold true.
"Unwilling abstinence is still abstinence," Asay later clarified.
The veracity of Chairman Asay's claims is uncertain, although many seniors did comment on the unusual prom afterparties. While prom is usually famous for its fun-filled late-night activities of dubious (at best) legality, most parties this year seemed to focus on board games, watching parties of The Chronicles of Narnia and Passion of the Christ, and group Bible sessions.
"It was really uncomfortable for me personally and religiously," said senior Josh Fein, cofounder of the popular Facebook group, Jewish GANGSTAS! "Hey, do you want to hear a Jew joke?"
After avoiding one of Fein's infamous degrading jokes, the Cyclone returned to Chairman Asay for further comments.
"Really, I think we all needed to reaffirm our belief in God after those god-awful (pun intended) karaoke performances," Asay said. "I organized this so that people would know that there's hope at the end of the tunnel. So that people would know what college is like. College is one big youth Bible group study session. At least that's what I've been told."
Rumors abound that Young Atheist Club President Michael Hinojosa plans to sue HHS for violations of the establishment clause of the Constitution, but that could just be me showing off that knowledge I put to work today on the US Gov AP test.
Add "moral" to that list.
"I just am so pleased to announce that for the first time in the history of high school proms, a high school - Hillcrest itself! - has held a prom night during which no one got wasted!" enthused Hillcrest Youth Moral Superiority chairman Andrew Asay in a recent statement. (Here Asay giggles.) "And no one got laid!"
Unfortunately for the male population, at least one of those charges might hold true.
"Unwilling abstinence is still abstinence," Asay later clarified.
The veracity of Chairman Asay's claims is uncertain, although many seniors did comment on the unusual prom afterparties. While prom is usually famous for its fun-filled late-night activities of dubious (at best) legality, most parties this year seemed to focus on board games, watching parties of The Chronicles of Narnia and Passion of the Christ, and group Bible sessions.
"It was really uncomfortable for me personally and religiously," said senior Josh Fein, cofounder of the popular Facebook group, Jewish GANGSTAS! "Hey, do you want to hear a Jew joke?"
After avoiding one of Fein's infamous degrading jokes, the Cyclone returned to Chairman Asay for further comments.
"Really, I think we all needed to reaffirm our belief in God after those god-awful (pun intended) karaoke performances," Asay said. "I organized this so that people would know that there's hope at the end of the tunnel. So that people would know what college is like. College is one big youth Bible group study session. At least that's what I've been told."
Rumors abound that Young Atheist Club President Michael Hinojosa plans to sue HHS for violations of the establishment clause of the Constitution, but that could just be me showing off that knowledge I put to work today on the US Gov AP test.
Promenade Photoroll
These are the few a few classy pictures of The Cyclone in action.
Jeff W and I discussing this photo Cyclone matters with the Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea (not pictured).
What an unfortunate turn of events for Jeff. Swine Flu strikes again.
"His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." Matthew 28:3 (Archangel Kevin Latta pictured above)
Well, it's Monday. [expletive]
Jeff W and I discussing 
What an unfortunate turn of events for Jeff. Swine Flu strikes again.
"His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." Matthew 28:3 (Archangel Kevin Latta pictured above)Well, it's Monday. [expletive]
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