Image of the Day

What? Word has gotten to me about this no athletic shorts matter. Somewhere Jeff Wilke cringes in the dark.


Let this be the start of La Resistánce.

You can't teach old dogs new tricks.

One man, one destiny, one world. He has ventured up mountains high, across rivers wide, through valleys deep. Just to fulfill one divine decree. He did these things in order to report the news, the wrong way. The Cyclone is proud to introduce the one and only, Sam Williams.

Lets face it, adults in general just aren't cool. Any kind; teachers, parents, you name it. But recently they have been attempting to change that reputation. It is a very drastic approach, and no matter how hard they try kids are impervious to their scandals. These desperate measures of incomprehensible madness includes sagging their pants up to their chest and all the way down to belly buttons. Making their own complex handshakes (and forgetting them halfway through) and picking up on street talk. "Yo dawg we uber pwned that kid with that referral!" Although they think that they are winning, students are saying that these ridiculous attempts of trying to be hip have been getting out of hand.

"Parents have just been uncool for too long to start becoming cool now. It's completely impossible for them to pull this off. They just dont have the fashion sense." said cool history aficionado Ryland Portele.

After hearing this fatal prediction, I decided Freshman dont know what they are talking about. And so, completely wiping her comment from my memory, I went to the Cyclone's number one anonymous teacher to ask his opinion. "I honestly don't see how we [adults] aren't cool yet. We grafitti school property, steal cars, and shoot bank tellers in their hands. We even let kids come in with no homework, sometimes. That has to be cool somehow."

Despite the teacher's attempt of making themselves feel better about getting older, I have a strange feeling it is all for nothing. I think John Lennon said it best in his song Imagine. "Imagine all the old people, being really cool". Yes John, imagine that strange alternative for all of us, so we never have to.

Teacher Formally known as Mr. Wright

As we all know Mr. James Wright left Hillcrest after this past semester. But does anyone know the actual reason behind this? A message from Wright has surfaced and it is our duty to report.

Ladies and Gents, the Cyclone is back.

"I don't have much time to talk, I have been dodging them for weeks now but every day they get closer and closer to finding me. I am so scared of what they might do if they catch me (sniff, sniff). I have heard rumors and horror stories that short Italian men with chest hair exploding from their white tank tops tie you in a chair and shout, “Howz you doing, eh howz you doing” over and over again until their thick Yankee accents break you down. When I come back, IF I make it back to Dallas wearing New York Yankees and Giants gear, you will know I was broken. But for now, I will try to be strong and tell the world why I am here. Someone has to keep the message alive.

As many of you know, I have left the concrete jungle of Dallas for the booming metropolis of Brookfield, Connecticut. But what most of you don't know, is that I was ordered here by the Hillcrest Administration during the reign of Marty Crawford. (Laughing to myself), I remember the day he recruited me for this assignment like it was yesterday. The sun was shining, someone was smoking out in the bathroom, and students were eating in my room and leaving their trash on the desks when Principal Crawford (he wasn't a Dr. yet) threw open the door and said “Mr Wright, I need you in my office..now”. Being a diligent follower of all DISD policies I went into his office immediately...only to be horrified at what I saw. In his office was a message, written in Columbia blue and Cardinal red, was one name....Thomas Jefferson!!! Marty turned, faced me, and with a determined glare said, “This [expletive] ends today! I don't know who these Founding Fathers are, but so help me Lord Almighty we will track them down and bust this gang up. Mr. Wright, I am putting you in charge of this. I want the Founding Fathers found, and eliminated”. I knew he was serious, I read the student code of conduct policy on gangs...ZERO TOLERANCE! Oh man I wanted the Founding Fathers to pay, I mean to deface school property that like, GOD have they no soul? How could they not care about Hillcrest and Panther Pride? But I swallowed my anger and used it to fuel my determination, to bring these powdered headed, wooden teethed Yankees to justice.

But it was difficult to get started, the only solid Intel we had was that the headquarters of these Founding Fathers (or F^2 as I call them) were located somewhere on the east coast. I needed our own set of spies to track them down. What I did next, is unforgivable and I apologize, now, as I let my zeal blind me to what I was doing. I would give the whole world, the whole freaking world to take back what we did. I just cant live with this guilt any longer and must get the truth out into the open. I needed spies, so I bribed student after student into Ivy League and East Coast Schools. There were so many students and the bribes were so expensive that it collapsed the DISD budget which in turn brought America's economic recession. I was just so determined to get our spies in everywhere that I didn't even think about the future DISD generations. I wish my admission of guilt ended there, but it doesn't, oh no, its far from over."

Wright's message abruptly ended here. When more data comes to light the Cyclone will be sure to report it to the world.

The Eyes of Missouri Are Upon You

And they can't help but be in awe.






















Jesus guys, it's the first week of school. Let's calm down a bit.