Hillcrest Alumni come out strong

Will Look Reports:

The former Hillcrest Ultimate Team composed of mostly the class of 2007 came back to their alma mater for a “butt whoopin” on some youngsters. Upcoming Junior at the University of Texas Michael Robinowitz was found warming up in his car just before the game. “These suckers won’t even be a piece of cake.”

On the other side, freshman Brett Mayberry couldn’t be at the game due to his intense college schedule, even though he is a freshman in high school. “Even though Zach is number one, I have the advantage here.” He thought the team would be done for without him and Junior Samy Maanani. Samy Maanani reportedly was too tired to play, even though he was found skipping through the field of flowers during halftime.

The game was intense. Blood was spurting everywhere, freshman Derek Poole had to play with a broken ankle, yet he still somehow broke other peoples ankles. James King was seen doing taekwondo on his opponents. Apparently, his art at fighting made people leave the game.

The alumni thought they had the game in the bag at 10 to 7, first to thirteen. Yet Oyedopo made an amazing grab to get the momentum in favor of the students.

The student team later on won thirteen to eleven. After the game, Robinowitz was found beating himself to death as his sisters’ friends had just embarrassed him. “I’ve been training all year for this one game, and now it’s ruined.”

          Everyone got out of the game with only a couple of grass marks, a messed up pelvis, and a tweaked ankle. “It was a nice, exciting, clean game,” quoted Wright after the victory.

Cheerleaders get Cheerleaders

As many of you are already aware, cheerleaders of Hillcrest High School have been bemoaning the fact that they do not get enough respect. 

  

“Cheerleading is just as much of a sport as football!” protested incoming junior cheerleader, Nichole Porras.

  

The squad met up with new principal and cheerleading activist Mr. Jones to discuss the situation. Mr. Jones, being the loyal cheerleading fan that he is, gave the cheerleaders something we never thought they would get. Effective immediately, the team will have a cheerleading squad of their own to cheer for them during games. When active Ultimate Frisbee team member Ryan Conway heard the news he was furious. “Let me get this straight. Cheerleaders get cheerleaders, but the Frisbee team, who has been asking for them for years, don’t have any!?”

  

“It makes sense. Like, we cheer for you guys all day! Don’t you think we need some too?” said Emily Westbrook during a lively phone interview earlier today.  When approached, each and every member of the squad said the same thing.

  

The funny thing is, the members of the cheerleader’s cheer squad aren’t students. The 4 person squad consists of Mrs. Alverson and her enthusiastic, but not very coordinated math teaching underlings.

  

“I’ll make sure that the cheerleaders get the respect they deserve!” shouted Mrs. Alverson while performing a pretty impressive herky.

 

In a non-related, but developing story understudies from next year’s school musical are demanding they have understudies of their own.

  

The Cyclone will most likely be on break during the summer, but expect many stories when school comes back around. Don’t say goodbye.

 

Test One, Test One Two, Check, Check

As school winds down and the board game Guess Who becomes old, our new editors-in-the-wings shall begin to take flight. Ladies and gentlemen, I present one of the newest editions to The Cyclone, freshman Jesse Degani.

Depression Rampant as School Year Comes to an End
“It’s not fair. It’s just not fair,” outgoing senior Mattia Flabiano stammered uncontrollably.

“I mean what are we going to do all summer without school?” lamented Zoe Bernbaum.

In a remarkable turn of events, students of Hillcrest High School overwhelmed the counselor’s office seeking help for depression caused by the end of the school term. At a school-wide assembly, Ms. McNutt advised students to create informal study groups throughout the summer to help ease the anxiety. Mr. Wright and several other teachers generously offered after school hours so students could brainstorm ideas of ways to fill the void left by the closing of school.

Some of the ideas that have been suggested are:
• Meet up in large rooms for paper bag lunches
• Sit in a desk for 8 hours every day
• Take mock Exams and SAT tests.
• Set alarm for 6:30 a.m. throughout summer

If you seek further help contact our hotline set up by the committee of Students for Year Round School at 1-800- School Forever.

Images of the Day

Senior Michael Hinojosa (aka Harvardjosa, pictured above) has taken his pride in his class rank to the next level.

Following suit was sophomore Matthew Talley (aka Mohammed Talib, pictured below), who took an alternative route and shaved a "#" into the back of his head, the Talib symbol of destruction.

UPDATE: Talib is known to be a tic-tac-toe enthusiast.