Let the Moaning Begin: All Hillcrest AP Tests Invalidated

After going through the recent AP tests while preparing to send them to College Board, Hillcrest administrators noticed a little snafu that they thought might mess with the grading process for Hillcrest AP exams. Then, after careful consideration, they realized that we are totally [expletive].

"I don't know what happened," Statistics teacher (and AP guru) Mrs. Podhrasky said. "Really, we did everything by the book. But somehow the sheets were mixed up. We handed out the wrong answer sheets. I didn't even know there were different types of answer sheets."

But there were, apparently. Hillcrest administrators handed out a separate answer sheet to students, meant to be used on last year's AP tests. Due to bureacracy and general mean-spiritedness, College Board switched out the answer sheets this year, just to change things up.

"The new answer sheets are much improved, which is why we wanted schools to use them," said a College Board representative. "They ask for your name 23% more often, while misreading test answers 56% more of the time than the old ones did. Also, instead of just a number label, they require an entire fingernail for identification purposes. By overly complicating and confusing the process, we at College Board believe that we will weed out the free loaders - students only taking the test because they're being made to - from the students who want to learn, thanks to our dishonest and illogical new testing scheme."

There were strong reactions from students and faculty at HHS.

"You've got to be kidding me," said senior Ross Shwarts, who had taken 10 AP tests. "How the hell am I going to get credit for an entire year of college now? I was planning on partying freshman year. College Board's mess-up is really disappointing."

Some students didn't particularly seem to care, although that fact itself is rather telling.

"Everyone said I was an idiot for leaving in the middle of the AP English Literature test," said Ben Debus. "Well who's the idiot now? You are. That's who."

On College Board's Facebook group, comments have been diverse from, "w00t go college bord [sic]" to "WHY DID I SIT THROUGH THIS CRAP FOR NO REASON?!!!" to "I don't care, I slept through most of them anyway," to even the disturbing status on Facebook that has become quite popular over the past day: "College Board canceled my AP scores. No college credit. 10 wasted hours. FML."

After receiving news of the College Board answer sheet fiasco, it is reported that administrator Ann McNutt locked herself in her room and refused to come out, although those reports have not been verified.

College Board replied to the school's repeated requests for comment, sending this e-mail to school press:

"What happened at your school was very unfortunate, we agree.

But it was also really funny. You guys just wasted hundreds of dollars and dozens of hours taking meaningless tests!!!! LOL!!11! I bet you feel stupid now, huh?!

Regards,
College Board

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