Friday, April 17, 2009

G'd Up From the Deceit Up: Episode I

Here is a new weekly feature we have starting at The Cyclone, written by Kevin Latta. Dramatic, compelling, and very mysterious, G'd Up From the Deceit Up tells the lore and legend of the 2009 Hillcrest soccer team.

For the past two soccer seasons, I have been hiding. Hiding… in broad daylight. There is an idea of a Kevin Latta; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

Thus has been the cold reality of my life for the past two years, spent deep undercover, investigating a phenomenon that seldom makes its presence known beyond the pitch. In order to witness one of the world of Hillcrest High School’s natural phenomena, I was forced to erase all traces of my previous self, similar to Will Smith’s character in the exciting/humorous 1997 film Men In Black. Fortunately, I was allowed to keep my fingerprints in tact.Unfortunately, I was not deemed “worthy” of a Noisy Cricket. My apologies for the bitterness, but the prospect of a two-inch gun that can destroy half of a New York City block was pretty much the reason I got into investigative journalism/espionage. But I digress…

The Hillcrest Soccer Organization has gained critical acclaim for the success of its teams in recent years. In addition to the success of H.C.F.P. (Hillcresto Club de Futbol Playings), the organization has garnered a reputation for flair, intrigue, mystery, and scandal. From numerous on field brawls to inner squad clashes due to a certain Tarzan-esque, beautiful, curly, black-lock-sporting prima donna named Abraham Juarez who will remain unnamed.

This season was full of “mishaps” that were quietly swept under the rug and even when the “mishaps” began to spoil and develop a strange mold, similar to the mold one might find on several week old bread that my mother has left sitting out, failing to recognize the folly of her ways after countless occurrences, Hillcrest High School has managed to metaphorically spray a coating of Febreeze over the rug to cover any remnants of foul play. The rug will soon be lifted, revealing the seedy underbelly of Hillcrest soccer. The mysterious disappearance of coaches, the team's odd tendency to get in fights at every game, the inexplicable development of nicknames for every player on the team, and Major Hendry’s secret to eternal life will all be explained in the episodic exposé.

Buckle your seat belts, kids, its going to be a wild ride…

11 comments:

  1. This is a horrible article. You need to stop writing for the cyclone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. to gangsta for a nameApril 19, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    It seems to me that you are trying to hard to be all deep and lyrical and shit

    ReplyDelete
  3. High-level writing = lack of comprehension among the plebeians. Keep up the good work K-Lat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with the first comment

    ReplyDelete
  5. You were the first comment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. the funny thing is, I wasn't!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lol, not what erik said...

    ReplyDelete
  8. to gangsta for kevin to be better than him at soccerApril 24, 2009 at 7:37 PM

    the funny think is kevin isnt even that good

    ReplyDelete