Young Life Finds Jesus

While many church groups claim to have "found Jesus" metaphorically and spiritually, Hillcrest Young Life has literally found Jesus.

"He was just hanging out under an overpass," said sophomore Blake Atwell. "His clothes were kind of ratty and he sorta smelled like liquor, though, but he said he was Jesus."





Young Life took the hobo-turned-savior under their wing and housed and fed him for several weeks. While Jesus usually kept busy sleeping off apparent hangovers and watching reruns of Ugly Betty, the group wasn't bothered.

"He seemed like a really nice guy," said senior Justin Hernandez. "When he wasn't passed out and everything."

Other members were less confident.

"He never did any miracles," said Atwell. "He chugged half a bottle of rum without vomiting, but that didn't seem like it qualified."

The group was alerted to the suspicious nature of "Jesus"'s actions when he was found trying to steal a car in the school parking lot with a crowbar and an inflatable balloon dog. Five ounces of marijuana were later found on the supposed Jesus.

"It was a shock," said Nichole Porras. "I never thought that would happen. He had the beard and everything."

"It makes sense that Jesus is a stoner," said David Kleinman, who isn't a member of Young Life but offered comment anyway.

While Young Life is moving past this incident, James King would like to remind everyone that meetings are on Monday and that there will be pizza and Rock Band at his house.