It's Official: The Hillcrest Cyclone Shocks/Awes/Induces Readers to Tears of Joy

Let the New Age of Media begin.

The Hillcrest Cyclone has recently been named the best blog ever by D Magazine's FrontBurner blog.

"It's about time," said Cyclone co-founder Erik Severson. "We've been writing quality news stories for almost two weeks, and it's nice to finally get a smidgeon of the appreciation we rightfully deserve."

As you will notice at the bottom of the main page, we at the Cyclone have installed a visitor counter to mathematically quantify our dominance over other blog-type things. Already the Cyclone has gained 12,000,712 hits at the time of this post, meaning that the counter couldn't even keep up with our site traffic since it didn't have enough digits.

"The Hillcrest Cyclone has already become the second-most read blog of all time at Blogger behind a blog by a 20-year-old unemployed artist from Brooklyn," said an official statement from Pyra Labs, creators and maintainers of blogspot.com, the site that hosts the Cyclone. "We're somewhat unused to creativity and pure genius when it comes to blogging, but we're working around the clock here to make sure that our servers don't crash from the exponentially increasing traffic the Cyclone will surely enjoy as news of its beastliness spreads across the land."

Interestingly, officials from Hillcrest High School's "official" newspaper, the Hillcrest Hurricane, have refused to comment.

"That's pretty standard," said Cyclone co-founder Jeff Wilke, a handsome individual with untameable hair and the smile of a god. "The Cyclone usually inspires respectful silence in its readers and amongst the proletariat."

The Cyclone's sudden and much deserved upswing in popularity has shocked the newspaper industry. Already the Boston Globe has announced it is folding its operations and rebranding itself as a blog (The Boston Typhoon), hiring Cyclone editor Drew Vine as editor-in-chief for the new blog.

"Basically they saw how much the Cyclone rocked," Vine explained by phone, ignoring the fact that he hasn't even written a story for the Cyclone. "As much as I hate to leave the best blog ever, they're paying me a lot of money, so... Yeah. I'm going to go with money over loyalty any day."

Other rumors persist, but Cyclone editors would like to establish that, contrary to the latest gossip, there are no plans to change the site domain to checkourstats.us. However, the Cyclone's success has rapidly changed the lives of cofounders Severson and Wilke.

"All the colleges that denied us [the] first go 'round have sent us formal letters of apology," said Severson. "They just wanted us to know that we are wonderful people and they're sorry that their admissions offices screwed up and mixed up our files with someone else's. We appreciated the gesture, and as a symbol of our appreciation will spend the next four years spreading voracious lies and harsh untruths about the colleges that originally denied us until they are forced to close their doors, a fate they justly deserve for their ignorance."

The Cyclone's growth as a trusted media source has also translated to growth as a business. As a result, Severson and Wilke are planning on cashing out selling off shares of the formerly private company, Hillcrest Cyclone Inc, to any gullible suckers who are easily scammed prospective investors.

"Business can only go up from here," said Wilke. "With the money we earn from selling off shares of our stock, we plan on buying up all other media sources, starting with the New York Times and the veritable News Corporation entities, until we have a completely unlawful media monopoly and are in a position to control public sentiment and mentality."

Shares are $20 apiece, cash only. Payment can be delivered to Mr. Baldridge's fourth period class, portable five.